Bear (Mace) Attack!

Most of our hikes take place in bear country. We like it that way. There are less people, which means more solitude.

We have really meant to buy some bear mace all summer. We really don't want to be eaten by a bear.

Washington has mostly black bears, but there are also some grizzly bears.

Grizzly bears live here:


From Wikipedia

And black bears live here:


From Wikipedia

So we hike often in bear ranges.

Finally, we bought some bear mace. I would recommend getting some if you are going to hike in areas with bears. This one was developed by someone who survived a grizzly bear attack and his companion had human pepper spray. Bear mace is a whole lot more potent than pepper spray. Andrew was really excited about our bear spray because it came in handy camo holsters. Classy classy. But also very useful.

From the pamphlet about the bear spray, we learned that the bear mace will dilate the bear's eyes to cause temporary blindness; will make the bear cough, choke, and feel nauseous; and will cause the mucus membranes to swell so the bear can only breathe to sustain life---basically he will pass out. It is powerful stuff.

Andrew enjoyed reading the reviews of the bear spray product. People wondered how strong it was and sprayed it in their homes and had to fumigate the place, or got it in their eyes, or (as the pamphlet told us not to) sprayed their tent or children as a bear repellent. We laughed. What idiots.

But then one day, a grizzly bear wandered into our apartment. We sprayed it. The end.


Source

Just kidding.

Andrew and I were showing his mom our new bear mace over Skype on Sunday. She was very worried about us encountering a bear, so we calmed her fears. Andrew then decided to practice taking off the safety cap.

And he dropped it.

And it sprayed on our carpet.

"It works," he said.

I would have said something quite different. Starting with "sh" and rhyming with "split".

But, Andrew is a good boy and generally doesn't sin on the Sabbath. I, however, am a different story. My roommates can testify that Sundays are the days when I said most of my inappropriate comments.

Back to the story.

We had sprayed bear mace in our apartment. I ran and opened all the windows (it was about 40F outside) and got a fan going. We started coughing like crazy. We needed to leave our apartment, but we were baking a delicious treat and couldn't leave it in the oven!

So we did what any sensible couple would do.



We wrapped our faces in scarves and Skyped my parents until our delicious treat got out of the oven.


Andrew tried his best to scrub the bear spray out of the carpet.

And then we went on a walk for an hour and half. When we got back, our apartment wasn't full of airborne bear mace. Thank goodness. Also, thank goodness there wasn't really a bear in our apartment, because then we would have bigger problems than a burned dessert. And thank goodness that the baby wasn't here yet because that would be horrible for the poor little thing.

Unfortunately, I did not go into labor from coughing and coughing.

Bear mace works. Do not try it at home.

Finishing Some Projects

Yesterday at breakfast, Andrew asked when I was going to finish writing the Thank You cards.

After he left, I made the ten more I needed, finished writing the notes, and did not address them. They were mostly for my extended family, and they are all cheap-os, so I will just mail them with the birth announcements because they will understand my cheapness. So that project is done.

It felt really good to finish up a project. So I decided to finish up another one.



Burp cloths! Who knew that something you made just for your baby to throw up in could be so cute? These were my only sewing project for Baby Girl. Which, I decided, was too bad, because I enjoy sewing straight lines. I should have made a quilt. But I need to finish a ladybug quilt for someone's big girl bed (GASP!! She's not even born and is growing up so fast!) before I start on any new ones. Anyway, I finished these burp cloths this morning and it was fun and easy.

My next project to finish before Baby Girl comes is her blessing dress. It is so beautiful and getting so close! I will try to finish it today. I am crocheting it and I feel like I have gotten better at all of my crochet skillz.

A few months ago, I finished an afghan I have been working on for about five years. It is a pink and purple afghan made up of granny squares and then I crocheted them together. That isn't how you are supposed to connect granny squares, but I just made it up. I was originally making it for my first niece, but, as you know, I have a nephew. Everyone said, "Oh, it will be for your daughter!" (They usually meant that I would have the first baby, which was not so.) But it is for my daughter. Here it is.



Maybe I am nesting. I really hope that I am truly nesting (and not just returning to my normal, super-productive self--although that would be nice, too) because then she will come out soon. On Tuesday I did wash the floorboards and I still need to mop the floors before she comes.

Anyway, some of my future projects will include the aforementioned ladybug quilt, embroidering some hand towels my grandma had me start when I was seriously nine years old, quilted Christmas stockings, crocheting baby girl beanies for my Baby Girl and my cousin's baby girl, and the never-ending scrapbooking projects. I feel like projects just keep on adding up. Finishing some of these ones that have been waiting for ridiculous amounts of time (cough cough, hand towels!) will be great because then I don't ever have to do that craft again (not much of an embroiderer).

What are your favorite crafts and projects?

One of the Last Hikes As a Childless Couple

I'm ready to get this baby out of me.

Baby Girl, we want to meet you! And I want your knees out of my internal organs.

Our friend Kaleb told us that he took his wife hiking and the next day they had a baby. It was worth a try.

We went to the Lime Kiln Trail in Granite Falls. It was relatively flat so we thought it would be a good one.

A highlight was peeing in the wild. Love it (I really do, call me weird). Squatting in a blackberry patch did not get the baby out though.

This is especially for my mother-in-law--I'm still wearing pre-pregnancy clothes! Well, at least my jackets.

We did not make it all the way to the Lime Kiln. We needed to go home and shower so we could make it to stake temple night. So we turned around. I think there was about a half-mile left to the Kiln.

I am trying to look especially pregnant in this picture. I am especially pregnant--I was 37.5 weeks along on this hike.

On the way back to the car, we imagined what we would do if I had the baby on our hike. Imagine...

Andrew: "Hello, uh, my wife just had a baby."

Operator: "OK, tell me your address."

Andrew: "Well, we are about two miles in on the Lime Kiln Trail in Granite Falls."

Operator: "Where in Granite Falls? I didn't catch it."

Andrew: "We are hiking. Should we hike back to our car and meet the ambulance there?"

Operator: "Wait, what?"

Andrew: "Don't worry, I wrapped the baby in my shirt and a solar blanket. My wife is fine but her pants are a mess. Should I cut the cord with my knife?"

Fortunately, we did not have to call 911 because I did not have the baby on the trail.

The verdicts:

I did not have the baby because of the hike.

I still have a baby inside of me.

We may have to go on a steeper hike on Saturday.

Now go hiking, everyone!

Kite Flying at the Beach

Even though we live pretty close to the Puget Sound, we don't go to the beach very much. We are more of freshwater people, therefore we usually head to the mountains. But we went to the beach last week. We checked out the beach at Edmonds where the ferry leaves from because we heard there was a public fishing pier. There truly is one and I think we might try some fishing if we get a bigger pole. Then we hung out, walked around, flew Andrew's kite, and had a picnic until it got cold. It was a nice afternoon.

Andrew and his kite.

Flying the kite.

From behind.

I had to get pictures from all angles.

Two bald eagles.

After the picnic!

Kissing should be an important part of all adventures.

We had a good day. Go out tonight and have an adventure!

Hospital Again

A month ago, I decided to burn my hand off with hot wax.

I was going to wax my eyebrow (it was getting to the point of being just one eyebrow). I followed the directions. Put it in the center of the microwave and heat for 30 seconds. Too bad my microwave sucks. It was hard on top, so I tried to stir it a bit. However, there was a boiling pit of magma wax in the center that sprayed out like a volcano across my left hand. We found wax on our kitchen table and the carpet about three feet away from where it happened. I am glad it didn't get my face.

After watching most of Men in Black with my hand in ice water and it still killing, we decided to go to the hospital. I had about seven blisters across the knuckles of my left hand. It hurt unless it was in the ice water. Also, my eyebrows were still hairy.

By the way, how stupid is it to "rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10"? Yes, this hurts, but there are things that hurt WAY more and in different ways.

Back to the story.

They bandaged me up and sent me home with a prescription for Vicadin. Too bad that the next day while trying to change my bandage, the wax that was still stuck to my skin pulled my skin off. So we went bad to the hospital and they soaked it in a saline solution and tried to get some more of the wax off.

On Monday I moped around and slept. On Tuesday we went to a burn center in Seattle. There, they purposefully cut my skin off, put tiny bandaging on, gave me some physical therapy exercises to maintain mobility in my hand, and wished me luck.

At home, I had to change it once a day and scrub all dead skin and scabbing off. I am may have sworn. Once. Or twice. After a few days it seemed pretty healed and I only took the Vicadin for four or five days.

Andrew refused to take any pictures because it was so disgusting. But here is my almost-healed hand.



You can see that it was all the way across my knuckles and up my finger joints.

And here is Andrew being a good nurse:



And here is the bandaging:



I went to the burn center a week ago and the nurse and doctor told me that my hand was healed! It shouldn't scar, and if it does, it should be minimal. I need to continue the stretches and do things like play the cello and piano. I need to treat it like baby skin for a year.

So it has worked out pretty well. I'm glad it healed well and wasn't too painful over the long term. I'm also grateful that I didn't have to take care of an infant with one hand.

I waxed my eyebrows this weekend. Waxing is like riding a bike--you just have to get back on and not follow the directions on the wax.

Homemade Pizza Sauce

This was so delicious and I just had to share it. Also, I'm no food blogger so there are no pictures. I also didn't measure anything, just threw things in to taste, so you will have to do so too!

Heat up some olive oil and add chopped garlic. Cook for 1-2 minutes but don't allow the garlic to brown.

Add chopped tomatoes, chopped onions, a hot pepper if desired, fresh basil, and fresh oregano (or their dried counterparts, but the fresh is what makes this so freaking amazing!) to the pot and bring to a boil. You don't have to take of the tomato skins. Once it is boiling, reduce the heat and simmer until most of the liquid cooks out.

Blend with a hand blender or put it in your blender and blend until smooth (or chunky--you are the chef!). Add some salt or other herbs to taste.

Try not to eat all the pizza sauce because it is so dang good. Spread on your pizza dough and make the rest of the pizza. We had mozzarella and cheddar cheese with italian sausage and spinach pizza. Amazing. Cook in the oven. Eat.

Now go make some pizza sauce!

I am making more today with my leftover tomatoes. I am going to freeze it in 1 cup blobs and then put them all in the bag so we can enjoy "fresh" pizza sauce all winter.

The End is Near!

 I'm feeling huge. I'm 36 weeks. I can't sleep.

I've only gained 30 pounds, but it is a good motivation to never get truly fat.

The baby's head is down! Go go Baby Girl! Therefore, there is a butt lodged up in my ribs. It makes it hard to bend over. But, I can still touch my toes.

 I'm also getting all the stereotypical pregnancy symptoms. I'm sick to my stomach, have some heartburn, emotional, achy. I pee even more than usual. My abdomen hurts when I stand up.

 My pregnancy has been really smooth, but now I am done.

I'm still walking about three miles a day. Slower and slower and slower.

Come on Baby Girl! We are ready for you!

Pinterest Derisive Pleasures

I find pleasure in being cynical. Especially about Pinterest. It is so fun to pin millions of things but seriously, does anyone ever do the things they pin? It seems like there are always one or two people who pin 800 things each day--and they are always the same. So, here are my favorites from the same people each day without mentioning any names.

How many times do you need to pin some sort of "flatten your abs in 10 minutes a day!" pins? Or your a quick arm workout, or "do this before you get in the shower," or "3 tips to a better run" pin? Between all these quick workouts, you must be working out all day long. Or not working out at all. But go for your dreams! You can do it.

Ironically, those same people seem to be the people who pin a gazillion

Cupcakes! Decadent brownies! Cream cheese and sour cream smothered potatoes!

Who then quickly repent by pinning

Low-carb pizza crust! Healthy, make-ahead oatmeal breakfast! Ice cream without the guilt (frozen banana and Nutella)!

And oh, the lists. 8 steps to a better sacrament talk. 9 ways to being a better mom. 50 ways to show your husband you love him. 6 secrets to better skin. 14 ways to Instagram better.** You could just make these up following these steps:

4 Steps To Making a Pinterest Sensation Pin

1. Pick a random number
2. Pick a random subject that you may or may not be an expert in
3. Think of that many ways to accomplish that subject
4. Take a cute photo of your baby and put it as the pin connecting to the article

And then you have helped millions of others make pins that really aren't that helpful if you just think about that topic for about two minutes.

I laugh. And then I pin like two things each day. Most of which I will probably never make. But I will make and/or be inspired by a higher percentage of my pins because I have less pins. Maybe that was my plan.

Is it bad that I look forward to seeing the same people pin the same pins each day?

**Please note that these lists are never grammatically correct. If you begin a sentence with a number, you should spell it out. I should write a list: "Three Ways To Not Get Mocked on Pinterest".

**PS--this was Sarah, not Andrew, writing this post.