Mark Twain, Goldfish Extraordinaire, 2006-2012

In February 2006, I asked my neighbor Nate to the Sadie Hawkins dance at Davis High School. I think I sent him fortune cookies that had my name in them or something, saying "I would be so fortunate if you went to the dance with me!"

He answered me back, "Of all the fish in the sea, I'm so glad you picked me." And then he gave me four comet goldfish, most commonly known as feeder fish. One was dead by the time I got home from wherever I was (maybe school?) and I named the other three Henry VIII, Cleopatra, and Mark Twain. I named Henry VIII thusly because he had a dark spot that looked like a beard and Mark Twain thusly because he had a dark spot that looked like a mustache. Cleopatra and Henry VIII died in a few days, and I fully expected Mark Twain to go any day.

But he was a survivor. He continued to live.

I noticed his "mustache" was getting better. My mom had some fish medicine to help with ulcers and infections, so I put it in his tank. And he lived. His "mustache" went away and he lived.

After my freshman year, he got a new friend named Squishy. In 2007 they moved up to college with me. Mark Twain and Squishy were inseparable--mostly because they lived together in a small tank.

Here they are in their clean tank--be shocked and amazed. I really did try to keep it clean. Mark Twain is above Squishy. Mark Twain was also bigger, had a more flowing tail and fins, and was a more yellow gold color than Squishy.

And he lived with Squishy for many more years. Sometimes in a clean tank, but when I put them in the windowsill (where I like it the most) it got covered in algae.

Mark Twain on the left, Squishy on the right. This was after their sucker fish friend Zorro died and I went on vacation for a week.

Sometimes I just like to take pictures of my pets. And since these are the only pictures of Mark Twain and Squishy that I actually knew where they were saved, you will just have to look at the nasty fish tank (which I promptly cleaned--the pictures were also to document its green algae).

"Hey, you should feed us." Squishy to the left, Mark Twain on the right. They are little pig fish and love to snarf food.

I was always amazed that they had lived so long. My Mom even started calling them her "grandfishes."

Mark Twain swimming around.

And then on Tuesday, when I had the flu, I hear a fish splashing around. Andrew said, "Mark Twain is freaking out." I shrugged and fell asleep. After I threw up and did other things one does when they are sick, I checked the tank and saw Mark Twain on his side and the bottom. He was just breathing slowly. "Oh no!" I said, "I think Mark Twain is going to kick the bucket." And by bedtime he was gone. And I said a nice eulogy, flushed him down the freshly cleaned toilet, and didn't let Andrew poop for a few minutes to give Mark Twain's body time to find a final resting place.

Mark Twain in the back and Squishy in the front, checking out the view of the windowsill.

Good bye, Mark Twain. You were a good fish. You lived a long and happy life (I think it was happy). I'm sorry you hurt yourself and died from your injuries. You had the longest life of any cheap goldfish I have ever heard of. Rest in peace in the sewer.