Monday, April 29, 2013

In The Honey Bucket

Have you seen this?





The same principle applies to mothers with coughs all over the world.

I am a mother who is getting over a cold and coughs. It makes me pee a little. Sometimes a lot.

Today I went running with Rachel in the stroller and it was a nice day. But then, I started to cough. And I coughed some more. And I tried not to pee but sometimes it just comes out. I promise I do Kegel exercises each day!

After a few more coughing fits, I decided that I needed to find a bathroom so I could cough until I was done coughing. Hooray! I thought, I'm getting close to a park with a bathroom! Problem solved.

Or so I thought.

The doors were locked. The sign on the door said, "These bathrooms are temporarily closed due to vandalism."

OK, so do I kick down the door to use the facilities (and also vandalize the door) or do I go into the bushes next to the busy road (and potentially get arrested for indecent exposure and traumatize everyone and practice for camping in the wild)? Neither really sounded like good, legal options.

I looked around, and lo and behold, a Honey Bucket! A Port-A-Potty! That is legal!

Fortunately (maybe) for Rachel and I, the Honey Bucket was handicap accessible, so we both could go inside it.

Rachel had been sleeping, but woke up when the stroller jostled around as I shoved it into the Honey Bucket. I locked the door.

"Ooooh boy," I muttered. This was a stinky one.

Rachel looked at me with a funny face. It was a stinky one.

I opened the seat. I don't want to be graphic, but this potty was piled up. Almost to the top. I think more people should try to hold their poop until they get home. No wonder it stank so badly.

And I completed my business. Rachel looked confused. I coughed and got some more pee out.

I opened the door and rammed the stroller through it, stealthily getting some hand sanitizer (HOORAY! Also need for my bum, probably) in one hand. The stroller wheel got stuck on the door jamb and I had to maneuver it to get unstuck. Rachel was really looking confused. We were finally free! And the hand sanitizer slipped out of my hand. There was no way I was going back in there, so I tried my best with the last vestiges of it on my fingers.

For the rest of the run, I didn't cough very much, nor did I have to pee again.

And that is my slightly TMI story about running.

3 comments:

Melanie said...

You are so hilarious. Poor little confused Rachel! And sorry the potty was so piled up. Those are the worst. Also, I don't really pee when I sneeze or cough. When I laugh, however, it can be dangerous. But I was like that before. Maybe my urinary tract is just awesome?

Karen said...

I am sorry about your coughing issues. I know many women who have them. I am blessed to not be one of them. I know, eight kids and a bladder that still holds. It is a miracle. I will give thanks for that miracle and pray that it continues.

Sorry about your unpleasant porta potty experience.

Jennifer said...

This made me laugh. I can just see poor little Rachel's face as she is forced in and out of the port o potty!