Perhaps this blog title, "The World/The System VS Homemakers and Frugality," is a little extreme. But really, it is not. I will retrace some of the ridiculous things that have happened lately that have convinced me of this.
Some women (and men) stay home from work. In my case, it is a choice, one that I have struggled with a lot and finally have come to peace with it. I feel very strongly that I need to be at home for my baby and my future babies. I'm grateful my mom was there for me. I hope I can influence my children. Now, I also want to get a PhD and stay involved in history, but now is not the time. That is why I've struggled a lot with my decision to stay home. But I am glad that I am able to because of Andrew's job. I know that many women cannot do so, even though they desperately desire to.
Call it what you will, a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), housewife, homemaker, unemployed by choice, or a domestic manager (my preferred term), staying home from work is no picnic. I don't even have kids yet! I clean the apartment, run errands, and try to occupy my time until I have small people to care for. Anyway ... it sounds nice, but try keeping sane while staying home for a few weeks and I bet your respect for domestic managers goes up.
One website, found here, gives the job responsibilities and equivalent yearly salary for a homemaker. For a homemaker's work as a private chef, house cleaner, child care provider, driver, laundry service, and providing lawn maintenance, the website listed a homemaker's equivalent salary at $96, 261 per year. Wow!
So anyway, now that I'm a fervent champion of homemakers and domestic managers, here is my view on frugality.
Andrew and I are really frugal people. We paid for half of our car with cash and paid it off in less than two years. He has a credit card which he rarely uses and pays back promptly. I have never had a credit card. We use cash when we can, keep a budget and actually do record our purchases and expenses. We plan to pay for our next car in full with cash. We save about $1000 per month. We want to put 20% down on a house payment and pay off our mortgage as fast as we can. We don't go to movies, we rarely eat out, and we don't buy a lot of stuff. I'd say we are frugal.
I'm a champion for homemakers and frugality.
We want to buy a house. We met with a real estate agent and a mortgage lender. He did our credit checks. Andrew's credit score was perfect---except he hasn't used his credit card in over a year. I do not have a credit score (which I was happy to learn, meaning all the identity theft has been taken care of). So what did the mortgage lender suggest? Andrew use his credit card and I get a credit card and use it.
Fine. We'll jump through the hoops. But it really is nonsensical to require us to spend in a way that can get irresponsible quickly so we can prove we deserve a loan. A look at our bank statements should tell you that we are financially responsible. The world/the system is against frugality.
OK, OK. But how is the world/the system against homemakers? I go to our credit union where Andrew and I are joint account holders. I apply for a credit card, as had been recommended to me. "Why do you want a credit card?" asked the worker. "I've never had one and I need to build my credit so I can buy a house," I answered. "OK!" she said.
We go through everything. Then she asks for my income. I replied, "I don't work. I don't have an income. But my husband does. We have joint accounts with you." Well, they can't give me a credit card if I don't have an income unless my husband comes in and cosigns with me.
Seriously!?! The world/the system is against homemakers/domestic managers.
I was slightly annoyed. I do recognize that the lender needs to know I can pay my debts, it is still ridiculous. I did not feel very good, as supposedly anyone can get a credit card. Except me. Frugal frugal domestic manager me. And thanks for making me feel like a sixteen-year-old.
The world/the system is dumb. I am annoyed. But I will get that credit card, and by golly, I will buy an ice cream cone once a month! And I will pay it off before it comes due and they won't take interest from me! And I will have a perfect credit score and we will buy a house!
So there system. And we'll do it while saving $90K each year, thanks to my domestic management skills.
Santa
8 years ago
6 comments:
So call me a creeper, but I very much enjoy reading your blog. We went to high school together if that makes it any less creepy =) I LOVE this post. We're kind of in the same boat right now; domestic manager while patiently waiting for the kiddos to arrive. I know that it is not going to be easy for me to be a SAHM, but I also have come to terms with the fact that I know that is where I need to be. My mother worked full time all throughout my life, and that is something I always promised myself I would not do to my own children. Also, my husband has the same problem; he has paid cash for everything his entire life, which means he has absolutely zero credit. This hasn't been an issue yet because we too like to pay cash for everything, but I know that we need to get him a credit card for when we will need loans for a house a few years down the road. It's funny how that system works. You're telling me that my husband (frugal as I'll get out) who has never needed a credit card because if he doesn't have the money for something he doesn't buy it, has to get one so that he can prove he is financially responsible?? Hmmmm. Interesting.
Anyway, I'm getting long winded. Basically all I'm getting at is I couldn't agree more with everything you said in this post =)
I understand the whole going crazy staying at home thing! Working in the school system means I get three months off every summer, which seems like a dream to a lot of people but after three weeks that wears off very quickly! I am very much like you though and would make the decision to stay home with our children. Which I think will be a very big adjustment. I give you major props for doing it so you can be home with baby girl platypus! ;)
What a frustrating thing. Ross and I got our credit cards together, so he co-signed on mine, but I didn't really think much of it at the time. We've had credit cards since we got married to build up our credit score. It's working!
Amen! Deciding to quit working and save the rest of school for later was hard for me too. And Yes! the world is against being frugal. When we were going through finances to buy this house we decided we needed to get all of Chase's student loans taken care of so we didn't have two sources of debt. The bank pretty much got mad at us that we had almost paid off our student loans and told us to quit paying it off so quick so we could get a loan. We just have one credit card for the both of us. We use to to pay all of our online bills so it's easy to pay off right after we pay the bills. That way we built up our credit without going into debt and we got rewards points at the same time. Anyway... like you needed to hear any of that. But if you need a good realtor and mortgage broker- my uncles work together and they found us this house and they are amazing. They didn't give us any crap and were good about making sure we didn't get "taken for a ride" by anyone. If you're interested I can get you their info. I've never had a credit card and I think that just meant Chase and I had to sign all the paperwork together since our credit history was all together (I think). But anyway, me not having one wasn't a problem. Good luck with everything! Being a SAHM was one of the best decisions I ever made. :)
Sarah, I admire you. The system is broken, and I agree as well with what you said. Adjusting to staying home as a mom is really hard. I still struggle with it sometimes, ok, often times... but it is so worth it. I have my own issues with the system right now, but my little family wins the cost/benefit analysis. Someday I'll go back to school for a master's degree, but that day'll come, and I am ok with that.
I'll play devil's advocate, because that's what I'd do if Andrew and I were having this conversation, but I do agree with you on the broken system.
How can the banks (who give you credit) know that you're going to pay them back on their investment if you don't have a track record of paying money back to other people. True, you pay bills and pay cash for other things, but those are harder to track by those banks, or the credit report companies they get their information from.
Anyway, good luck with a house. We'll come visit you guys when you get it.
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