Bear (Mace) Attack!

Most of our hikes take place in bear country. We like it that way. There are less people, which means more solitude.

We have really meant to buy some bear mace all summer. We really don't want to be eaten by a bear.

Washington has mostly black bears, but there are also some grizzly bears.

Grizzly bears live here:


From Wikipedia

And black bears live here:


From Wikipedia

So we hike often in bear ranges.

Finally, we bought some bear mace. I would recommend getting some if you are going to hike in areas with bears. This one was developed by someone who survived a grizzly bear attack and his companion had human pepper spray. Bear mace is a whole lot more potent than pepper spray. Andrew was really excited about our bear spray because it came in handy camo holsters. Classy classy. But also very useful.

From the pamphlet about the bear spray, we learned that the bear mace will dilate the bear's eyes to cause temporary blindness; will make the bear cough, choke, and feel nauseous; and will cause the mucus membranes to swell so the bear can only breathe to sustain life---basically he will pass out. It is powerful stuff.

Andrew enjoyed reading the reviews of the bear spray product. People wondered how strong it was and sprayed it in their homes and had to fumigate the place, or got it in their eyes, or (as the pamphlet told us not to) sprayed their tent or children as a bear repellent. We laughed. What idiots.

But then one day, a grizzly bear wandered into our apartment. We sprayed it. The end.


Source

Just kidding.

Andrew and I were showing his mom our new bear mace over Skype on Sunday. She was very worried about us encountering a bear, so we calmed her fears. Andrew then decided to practice taking off the safety cap.

And he dropped it.

And it sprayed on our carpet.

"It works," he said.

I would have said something quite different. Starting with "sh" and rhyming with "split".

But, Andrew is a good boy and generally doesn't sin on the Sabbath. I, however, am a different story. My roommates can testify that Sundays are the days when I said most of my inappropriate comments.

Back to the story.

We had sprayed bear mace in our apartment. I ran and opened all the windows (it was about 40F outside) and got a fan going. We started coughing like crazy. We needed to leave our apartment, but we were baking a delicious treat and couldn't leave it in the oven!

So we did what any sensible couple would do.



We wrapped our faces in scarves and Skyped my parents until our delicious treat got out of the oven.


Andrew tried his best to scrub the bear spray out of the carpet.

And then we went on a walk for an hour and half. When we got back, our apartment wasn't full of airborne bear mace. Thank goodness. Also, thank goodness there wasn't really a bear in our apartment, because then we would have bigger problems than a burned dessert. And thank goodness that the baby wasn't here yet because that would be horrible for the poor little thing.

Unfortunately, I did not go into labor from coughing and coughing.

Bear mace works. Do not try it at home.

Pinterest Derisive Pleasures

I find pleasure in being cynical. Especially about Pinterest. It is so fun to pin millions of things but seriously, does anyone ever do the things they pin? It seems like there are always one or two people who pin 800 things each day--and they are always the same. So, here are my favorites from the same people each day without mentioning any names.

How many times do you need to pin some sort of "flatten your abs in 10 minutes a day!" pins? Or your a quick arm workout, or "do this before you get in the shower," or "3 tips to a better run" pin? Between all these quick workouts, you must be working out all day long. Or not working out at all. But go for your dreams! You can do it.

Ironically, those same people seem to be the people who pin a gazillion

Cupcakes! Decadent brownies! Cream cheese and sour cream smothered potatoes!

Who then quickly repent by pinning

Low-carb pizza crust! Healthy, make-ahead oatmeal breakfast! Ice cream without the guilt (frozen banana and Nutella)!

And oh, the lists. 8 steps to a better sacrament talk. 9 ways to being a better mom. 50 ways to show your husband you love him. 6 secrets to better skin. 14 ways to Instagram better.** You could just make these up following these steps:

4 Steps To Making a Pinterest Sensation Pin

1. Pick a random number
2. Pick a random subject that you may or may not be an expert in
3. Think of that many ways to accomplish that subject
4. Take a cute photo of your baby and put it as the pin connecting to the article

And then you have helped millions of others make pins that really aren't that helpful if you just think about that topic for about two minutes.

I laugh. And then I pin like two things each day. Most of which I will probably never make. But I will make and/or be inspired by a higher percentage of my pins because I have less pins. Maybe that was my plan.

Is it bad that I look forward to seeing the same people pin the same pins each day?

**Please note that these lists are never grammatically correct. If you begin a sentence with a number, you should spell it out. I should write a list: "Three Ways To Not Get Mocked on Pinterest".

**PS--this was Sarah, not Andrew, writing this post.

I'll Never Escape It...

I'm thinking that I've gone crazy. I'll never be the same.

You may know that I am a little obsessive about grammar. I will mock you and your advertisement if there is an error on it. But ultimately, I'm pretty forgiving because I realize everyone is human. And most people aren't as brilliant as I am.

I can forgive the misspelled flyers from our apartment complex. At our apartment barbecue tomorrow, we are having "deserts" (not desserts), which I'm looking forward to, as I've never eaten a desert.

I can forgive simple misspellings of homophones like that.

I can forgive problems in Facebook statuses that were obviously typed too quickly.

I was about to say I can forgive people who make plurals into possessives by adding an apostrophe, but that would be lying. I really can't forgive that one.

Example:

"Kitten's" when you are talking about two cat babies (that should be "kittens"), not one cat baby's mittens.

Come on people.

But I can kind of forgive doing that with some last names (even though that is incorrect), such as those ending with an s.

Example:

"That is the Thomas's house" when what you really mean is "That is the Thomases' house."

But I can't forgive:

"I just love the Monson's."

It should seriously be "Monsons", unless you mean you love their car, but then you should write "Monsons' car"

These are grammatical errors and some are forgivable, to varying degrees.

Other grammar things that I can understand but don't like include different press styles.

I know and love Chicago style, and, to me, the other press styles don't make sense in some cases.

The problem becomes most apparent in series. You know, a list of items?

Chicago style:

"I had toast, an orange, milk, bacon, and eggs and cheese for breakfast." (Meaning there was cheese gloriously incorporated with the eggs). See how the comma exists before the "and' of the final noun in the series. It just makes sense.

Other styles:

"I had a toast, orange, milk, bacon and eggs and cheese for breakfast." (How are we supposed to know if the bacon is gloriously incorporated with the eggs or the cheese is gloriously incorporated with the eggs?) It doesn't make sense and just adds confusion.

But I recognize that this is an accepted style, even though I don't like it.

I read it most often in news articles from reputable agencies and books from small, no-name presses.

But today I realized that there is one place I will never be able to escape the lack of a serial comma...

Facebook.

NOOOO!!!!

AHHHH!!! There should be a comma before the "and"! I'm going to die every time I see it.

I can change my Facebook into Spanish, Greek, Chinese, or Pirate, but I cannot change it into Chicago style.

Cry for me.

The World/The System VS Homemakers and Frugality

Perhaps this blog title, "The World/The System VS Homemakers and Frugality," is a little extreme. But really, it is not. I will retrace some of the ridiculous things that have happened lately that have convinced me of this.

Some women (and men) stay home from work. In my case, it is a choice, one that I have struggled with a lot and finally have come to peace with it. I feel very strongly that I need to be at home for my baby and my future babies. I'm grateful my mom was there for me. I hope I can influence my children. Now, I also want to get a PhD and stay involved in history, but now is not the time. That is why I've struggled a lot with my decision to stay home. But I am glad that I am able to because of Andrew's job. I know that many women cannot do so, even though they desperately desire to.

Call it what you will, a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), housewife, homemaker, unemployed by choice, or a domestic manager (my preferred term), staying home from work is no picnic. I don't even have kids yet! I clean the apartment, run errands, and try to occupy my time until I have small people to care for. Anyway ... it sounds nice, but try keeping sane while staying home for a few weeks and I bet your respect for domestic managers goes up.

One website, found here, gives the job responsibilities and equivalent yearly salary for a homemaker. For a homemaker's work as a private chef, house cleaner, child care provider, driver, laundry service, and providing lawn maintenance, the website listed a homemaker's equivalent salary at $96, 261 per year. Wow!

So anyway, now that I'm a fervent champion of homemakers and domestic managers, here is my view on frugality.

Andrew and I are really frugal people. We paid for half of our car with cash and paid it off in less than two years. He has a credit card which he rarely uses and pays back promptly. I have never had a credit card. We use cash when we can, keep a budget and actually do record our purchases and expenses. We plan to pay for our next car in full with cash. We save about $1000 per month. We want to put 20% down on a house payment and pay off our mortgage as fast as we can. We don't go to movies, we rarely eat out, and we don't buy a lot of stuff. I'd say we are frugal.

I'm a champion for homemakers and frugality.

We want to buy a house. We met with a real estate agent and a mortgage lender. He did our credit checks. Andrew's credit score was perfect---except he hasn't used his credit card in over a year. I do not have a credit score (which I was happy to learn, meaning all the identity theft has been taken care of). So what did the mortgage lender suggest? Andrew use his credit card and I get a credit card and use it.

Fine. We'll jump through the hoops. But it really is nonsensical to require us to spend in a way that can get irresponsible quickly so we can prove we deserve a loan. A look at our bank statements should tell you that we are financially responsible. The world/the system is against frugality.


OK, OK. But how is the world/the system against homemakers? I go to our credit union where Andrew and I are joint account holders. I apply for a credit card, as had been recommended to me. "Why do you want a credit card?" asked the worker. "I've never had one and I need to build my credit so I can buy a house," I answered. "OK!" she said.

We go through everything. Then she asks for my income. I replied, "I don't work. I don't have an income. But my husband does. We have joint accounts with you." Well, they can't give me a credit card if I don't have an income unless my husband comes in and cosigns with me.

Seriously!?! The world/the system is against homemakers/domestic managers.

I was slightly annoyed. I do recognize that the lender needs to know I can pay my debts, it is still ridiculous. I did not feel very good, as supposedly anyone can get a credit card. Except me. Frugal frugal domestic manager me. And thanks for making me feel like a sixteen-year-old.

The world/the system is dumb. I am annoyed. But I will get that credit card, and by golly, I will buy an ice cream cone once a month! And I will pay it off before it comes due and they won't take interest from me! And I will have a perfect credit score and we will buy a house!

So there system. And we'll do it while saving $90K each year, thanks to my domestic management skills.

Finally Looking Pregnant for the Fourth!

Andrew and I were very bored the evening of Independence Day. Holidays are really lame when you live far away from family. We didn't want to go to fireworks because Andrew has to get up so early and we were both pretty tired already. I guess we invite lameness and boredom into our lives. But, we decided we should do something at least. We went to Mukilteo Beach and just sat for a while. It wasn't necessarily fun, but it was nice. We also had a nice conversation about what we are most grateful for about living in the United States which then led into how people (leaders and common folk) need to be better critical thinkers about politics and current issues. Anyway...

I remembered that it was the 23 week mark! Since I am finally looking pregnant, we had to take some pictures (read: I forced Andrew to take my picture). I first saw them and thought, "Oh no! I am fat." Then I remember I am pregnant and it is ok, in fact, it is good to look like this.







So there you go! Happy Independence Day to you all and I am excited to celebrate with Baby Girl Platypus next year.

Sometimes, It's Hard to Think

It is hardest to think in the middle of the night. Last night, I was at my parents' house. So were my aunt and uncle and my cousin and his wife. So there was no bed for me--except for Matt's bed (he's on his mission). But I went into his room and the bed, floor, and everywhere were covered with stuff my parents just stuffed into his room cuz they didn't know where to put it. I was too tired to move things, and I knew if I didn't, I would step on things in the night when I got up to pee (hey, I'm pregnant). Then I had an idea! I could sleep on the couch downstairs, which I tried to do. Unfortunately, a cricket has escaped and took up residence under the fridge. I swear that thing is the size of crickets in China, it was so dang loud. So then I went upstairs to the other couch to sleep. But that cricket was still very loud and it continued to bother me. No sleep for me. So then, I did what any intelligent person would do in the middle of the night. I thought of the one place that I wouldn't hear the cricket to go sleep--the Mini Cooper I'm borrowing from my in-laws! Brilliant! So I took my thin blanket outside and locked the front door (now I could no longer get back into the house) and climbed into the Mini Cooper's back seat. And I had the best three hours of sleep I had all night. Good thing I am very short and not super pregnant fat yet. I realized that maybe I should have picked a larger car to sleep in, such as the Ford Edge or the BMW or something, but hey, it is really hard to think in the middle of the night. And then, since I was locked out, I knocked on the door at 7 a.m., certain that Dad would be awake. Nothing. So I called Mom, and she let me in. Turns out, Dad was awake, but had already gone to the gym, which meant the door from the house to the garage was unlocked and I could have gotten in on my own. And, the moral of the story is (as Mom put it), now I can be a hobo since I can sleep anywhere.

At least, anywhere where there isn't a huge cricket chirping all freaking night.

SOPA and PIPA

I had never heard of these pieces of legislation, The Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and Protect IP Act (PIPA), until today, when I hopped onto Google.com and found this:

I'd never heard of either of these pieces of legislation. I did a little bit of research and, it seemed to me, that people were freaking out way too much. The legislation seems valid and helpful, but I can see how it could spiral out of control. For my job, I cite things and the issue seems like a concern with appropriate citations, honoring copyright law, and giving credit where it is due. But, we are Americans and Americans don't like anyone to infringe on our rights. People are concerned that it will result in massive internet censorship, limiting free speech, and will hurt the economy. Therefore, several websites, such as Wikipedia, are protesting by having internet blackouts so no one can see their content, supposedly giving us a taste of what the U.S. will be like when everything on the internet is censored.

Once again, for my job, I cite lots of information and I check the citations of others. While searching for a book, Report On Indians Taxed and Indians not Taxed in the United States (Except Alaska) at the Eleventh Census, 1890 (Washington, DC: GPO, 1894), I found an online archive that had it available. I clicked on it and found this:

The website is: www.archive.org

Anyway, not happy. Thanks for helping me NOT do my job.

---Side note: This protest does not influence Congress in any way. It only frustrates their interns who are trying to find information for their Senators or Representatives. It also influences normal people, which I suppose gives the movement more support from people unhappy that they couldn't use Wikipedia to finish their report.

I don't think the legislation will pass. There is a lot of grassroots animosity toward it, plus President Obama has said that he will not support it. Censorship is stupid and keeps people from being informed*, but there are a lot of problems with illegally downloaded music, websites that stream TV shows without the copyright, and so on. These are dishonest and people should really evaluate their actions on the internet.

I had a friend on Facebook make a good point: Everyone is upset about this sort of censorship, but what should really be censored and what should Congress really put their feet down on? Pornography. It is already illegal and is very damaging. Some things, such as pornography, should be removed and censored from the internet.

For goodness sake people, try to be honest and live in a moral way. We wouldn't have these problems and huge fears about the government taking over our lives if people would just treat others the way they want to be treated.

So I still don't know where I stand on the issue. Since I've only known about if for one day, I can't say that my opinion is educated. And I would guess that most of the people posting things like this on Facebook are not very informed about the issue either. This goes right into my issue with people going along with "cool" and "conscious" companies such as Google or Toms (I read a great critique of Toms yesterday, see this article) because they think they are doing the right thing. Going along with companies is no different from going right along with the government if you are uninformed.

I'm not saying that I support SOPA or PIPA. As my experience shows, I was directly influenced by this psuedo "censoring" on the internet. I'm not saying that I oppose the potential legislation. I'm just saying that there are problems with the way people use and abuse information available on the internet.

As SOPA's name states, stopping online piracy would be a good thing. Censoring pornography would also be a good thing. Limiting free speech would not be such a good thing. People stopping to think about an issue before they brainlessly post on Facebook would be a great thing.

*Censorship sucks because some of the best books I have read are formerly banned/censored books, such as Thomas Hardy's Tess of the D'Urbervilles and Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn.